French Friday: 0.9 Liters Of Fury

"Jonee" (Jonee) 10/14/2016 at 14:15 • Filed to: Renault Twingo

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!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! I posted that there’s a remote possibility of Renault returning to Freedomland using the Mitsubishi dealer network. This could mean us getting the sweet Clio RS, or the absolutely magnificent Alpine. But, I forgot that the car I really want is a Twingo GT. Look at that thing. It’s awesome. The turbocharged rear-mounted triple is bumped up to 109 horsepower. It’s got a sport suspension. Stripes, and that amazing rear hatch. It’s the perfect car. A little bumblebee that’ll buzz circles around similar cars and is impossible not to love. So, fingers crossed we have a French revolution so I can park one of these next to my Le Car.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Jonee 10/14/2016 at 14:17

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Shit how didnt I know this existed?! Been hoping theyd at least build a GT but preferably an RS. Thisll do.

Kanaric > Jonee 10/14/2016 at 14:25

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This makes no sense, why not use Nissan they actually own them. I always thought that cars like this should be sold as nissans here.

I wouldn’t buy this car it’s basically int he same class as a smart car but looks nice. However if they made one with a decent sized engine I would take it.

someassemblyrequired > Jonee 10/14/2016 at 14:26

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I’m digging the pop out windows on the back doors

Kanaric > Jonee 10/14/2016 at 14:26

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Another thing is idk why they never partnered on a hot hatch and sold that here. Like a Renaultsport car. Nissan has no game at all in the grassroots enthusiasts car community.

duurtlang > Kanaric 10/14/2016 at 14:28

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It’s not basically in the same class as a Smart. The mk3 Twingo is a Smart (or the other way around). Same platform and engines.

Jonee > Kanaric 10/14/2016 at 14:29

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Well, they own Mitsubishi now, too. So, I guess this is a way of getting Renaults here without messing with Nissan and simultaneously boosting suffering Mitsubishi dealers.

It is basically a Smart car, but with more seats and doors and a sporty setup. I loved my Smart. I’d love this even more.

Kanaric > duurtlang 10/14/2016 at 14:30

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lmao i didn’t know I guess my assumptions were all too accurate.

Kanaric > Jonee 10/14/2016 at 14:31

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Ok that makes sense then. Mistubishi is basically a dying company here so trying to revitalize them as renaults makes sense.

Seriously if they sold one of their hot hatches here I would buy a “mitsubishi” as my next car.

Jonee > Kanaric 10/14/2016 at 14:33

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Yeah, I’ve always wondered that, too. Despite some wackiness with the Juke and Cube, Nissan always plays it safe.

Jonee > someassemblyrequired 10/14/2016 at 14:34

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Seriously. I wonder if that would be kosher with our safety regs. I miss pop-outs.

someassemblyrequired > Jonee 10/14/2016 at 14:48

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Well our Town and Country has them, so there’s hope.

Noah - Now with more boost. > Jonee 10/14/2016 at 14:49

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As a city car this would be infinitely cooler than a Smart!

BvdV - The Dutch Engineer > Jonee 10/14/2016 at 15:00

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I quite like the GT, more so than the normal Twingo 3, though the vent above the rear wheel is a bit odd, and very Smart-ish.

They should call it the LeCar again, although if you look into the Twingo’s bloodline, you’ll find out that the first Twingo was the ‘replacement’ of the good old Renault 4.

Anyhow, I’ll ask my Renault dealer if they get one, so I can hoon the tires off of it  test it for all of Oppo.

Cé hé sin > Kanaric 10/14/2016 at 15:04

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Nissan don’t own Renault or vice versa. The two companies have a strategic alliance with minority shareholdings in each other.

Kanaric > Jonee 10/14/2016 at 15:08

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Well they in the past made an Altima SE-R and Sentra SE-R, they don’t make anything close to that now. I SUPPOSE the Juke is a modern attempt at it but it makes no sense, that Nismo kit should be on the Versa.

What’s funny with that Nismo Juke with all the potential it has you can’t even autocross it or even track it at a lot of places. Any place that will ban a tall car this is on the list.

Jonee > BvdV - The Dutch Engineer 10/14/2016 at 15:36

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It’s a great looking little car. The GT embellishments really spruce it up. It’s funny to think of it as a 4 replacement since it’s never really had that car’s versatility. Calling it a Le Car would be fucking hilarious and a dream come true for me.

Do it. I’d love to read an Oppo review of one of these.

Jonee > Kanaric 10/14/2016 at 17:10

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Yeah, the Nismo Juke is a fun exercise and I’m kind of glad it exists, but a Nismo Versa is exactly what we’re talking about and would be a much more useful thing.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Jonee 10/14/2016 at 17:15

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If I had the choice of any Euro ride to bring over as a basic DD, it would come down to the new Twingo, the Cactus, or the FIAT Panda. I love the FIAT 500, but the Panda would be more practical day to day, and I love the current Panda’s styling, especially the Panda Cross! :)

The Twingo and Cactus tie for a close second though...it would be a hard decision! :P

Jonee > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 10/14/2016 at 17:46

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I totally agree. I wish we had just gotten the Panda instead of the 500L. And people would totally buy the Panda Cross. That thing looks terrific.

I would have a hard time deciding between a Twingo and a Cactus, too. No matter which one I had, I’d be simultaneously delighted with it, and mad I didn’t choose the other one.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Jonee 10/14/2016 at 18:14

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My feelings exactly! I don’t mind the 500L...it reminds me of the ‘weird’ Mulitpla in some ways with it’s odd proportions...but I like the Panda more. It’s a very clean and well-presented design to me. Simple, but pleasing. :)

As for the Twingo vs. The Cactus....I’ve historically liked Citroen more, so I guess I would have to lean towards that camp on personal principal. That being said, I REALLY like the design of the current gen Twingo (I have a thing for quad round lights!) and I love the fact that it’s rear-engined, which is an absolute rarity nowadays for ‘everyday’ cars. I love things that are quirky and different that just work! :)

Then AGAIN...although I love the Citroen’s interior, I’m not a fan of digital gauges and like having a tach, which the Cactus strikes out on in both cases...so, I would like the interior of the Twingo more. Also...the Twingo’s turning circle!!!

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/16/2016 at 17:47

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Those wheels!!! A replica of those Talbot Sunbeam Lotus ones!!!!

Love that license plate on that leading picture. I will try this little beast!

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/16/2016 at 22:39

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You’re right, they are like a modern version of those wheels. So cool. It’s a great looking little car, I think. I really want one.

Is it 3D SQUIRREL, or SQUIRT do you think? It’s a great plate. Yeah, go test drive one for me. As someone else pointed out, the pop-our back windows are great, too.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/17/2016 at 04:45

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It is 3D Squirt, it has to be. It’s a slutty squirter. I’ll ask a friend from the past who works at a Renault dealership if they have one for a test drive.

Toyota has had those pop-outs on the rear doors on the Aygo as well. My cartoonbrother has one, always makes me laugh.

Speaking of cartoons. Publishing a comic (2000 units) costs like 4,5 euros each. I talked to Amin, he was triggered to hear more. Hardest part would be promoting. But after I mentioned the online community it came from he wanted to hear more. Gonna get coffee with ‘m.

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/17/2016 at 21:10

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Haha. Sometimes we call small people “squirt,” so it’s slutty squirting squirt. I hope they put that in the ads. Another reason we should be marketing kings.

It’s a good way to save money. Like old sliding windows. I’d like to see someone bring those back.

4.5 Euros each book? So, these aren’t magazine like comics. They’re bigger books. So, I think several stories in each one is more appropriate. It seems to be different from anything else they publish, so it’d be a good way to branch out.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/18/2016 at 02:28

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Totally. Gods of squirting Squirts!

Or those foldable ones of the 2CV. And the Pao (in the back).

Nope, real books, even hardcover if I did understand all he told me. He creates ‘m as promotionals for companies as well.

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/18/2016 at 23:55

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The fold-ups are nice. You don’t get enough air with them, but I like the action of reaching your arm out to secure them, or take them down.

I see. So, that’s what he would charge for a printing run. It doesn’t cost him 4.50 a book. Interesting. I wonder how many he needs to print.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/19/2016 at 03:49

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That’s the allure of it. That arm thing. I never realized they’d get too little air though but that could have to do with the fact a 2CV was full of air all the time.

Nope, that’s what it would cost him, a print run. Well, maybe a slight margin. But if we have a true concept this could be a thing. Sell a few copies through Jalopnik.

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/20/2016 at 00:25

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Haha. I’m not sure I know what you mean, but sure. There are a lot of ways for air to get into a 2CV.

Ah, that’s more than I would expect, but I guess a comic is a lot more complicated than printing a book of text, so I guess that makes sense. I’m sure we could get Torch to promote it. He owes us. And, he just did a post on a Swedish car comic. And plenty of Oppo/LaLDers will buy one. I bet we sell out a run.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/20/2016 at 03:33

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The Dyane got a lot of air as well (had different windows), especially when going... SIDEWAYS!

Sorry, was amazed by these ;-)

Well, it’s not in marvel comic-style, if I understood him correct it was hardcover. I’ll check out that Torch post. I don’t think he would admit publicly he owns us squat.

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/21/2016 at 02:01

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Those pictures are epic. I love that one guy holding his head in astonishment. 007 got a lot of air in a 2CV.

Yeah, they’re nice hardcover books. I’m sure they’d look great. Torch wouldn’t publicly admit he was doing it to repay us for years of inspiration, but he’d push the book. I mean, after my Jersey “friends” pay him a “visit.”

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/21/2016 at 04:35

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Hahaha, aren’t they? The guy in the grey hoodie can’t close his mouth either from being utterly amazed!

Just send dad. Great title come to think of it.

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/23/2016 at 22:55

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Grey hoodie’s jaw is literally dropped. Same for that rather large red t-shirt lady spilling over the railing in back.

“ Just Send Dad ”? That is a good title. And, he would have no trouble convincing Torch of what would be in his best interests.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/24/2016 at 03:09

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Haha, didn’t notice that large red t-shirt lady but she’s quite impressed. She probably thinks somebody of her posture is on the passenger side in that Dyane.

You could use the tag line “He’ll take his Dyane”.

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/24/2016 at 04:17

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Ha! She’s probably always wanted to be a co-driver, too.

I’d love to see my father behind the wheel of a Dyane. It’d probably have to be this one.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/24/2016 at 05:06

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Hahaha, that one isn’t registered as a Citroën. But as a...

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Only 1000cc, probably a SJ410 underneath. Epic.

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/25/2016 at 01:59

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Wow, that’s awesome. Makes it even better. Could have had an engine swap, but I bet the original Suzuki one is plenty.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/25/2016 at 02:51

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A true 4wd Dyane, who would have thought... According to it’s registration it still is 1000cc. You know our ruling about swapping engines by now: We’re only sure there’s a 4-banger in there.

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/25/2016 at 23:13

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What rule? No more cylinders than stock? Over here, someone would have stuffed a Cummins in there.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/26/2016 at 03:02

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Over there the body was put over a CJ7-chassis!

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/26/2016 at 03:25

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CJ-5 more likely, but yes. I wonder if you could fit a Mehari body on a Jeep chassis.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/26/2016 at 05:20

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I don’t think so: A CJ5 has a very small wheelbase. A Méhari/Dyane/2CV has 2.4 meters! Even a CJ7 is too short actually with it’s 2.37 but that one comes closest. I feel a new project growing on me...

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/27/2016 at 02:35

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Yeah, you’re right, the Jeep is pretty short. And, that 2CV’s wheel base is huge.

Maybe a Scrambler chassis would work, but good luck finding one of those. It would make a sweet project. I’m surprised no one’s tried it. That plastic body is probably a pain, but you could figure out a way to make it shorter.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/27/2016 at 03:47

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No, it would be PERFECT! Just look at the picture you sent, it would be no problem whatsoever to move the rear wheel a bit forward, it’s only 3 cm’s!!!

Just not sure if the engine won’t enter the passenger cabin, that one probably is positioned a bit to the back.

Is that a picture of Fur Coat in Fort Lauderdale? Why is she holding an umbrella in a freakin’ bikini???

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/28/2016 at 02:48

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You’re right. It’s like Citroën had that in mind when they designed it.

There’s a lot of nose up there, so it might work. The straight 6 is long, but I think it starts over the front axle.

She obviously wants to protect her precious milky white skin, but I have no idea why she’s holding it above the roof. That’s just overkill. I dig those big sunglasses, though. And the way she’s holding the floatie thing with her foot. What a gal.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/28/2016 at 04:37

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The seats of the CJ7 are behind halfway the body:

The Méhari’s are on that halfway, maybe even in front of it.

Could be more of a challenge than I initially thought of. Although the other way around would be more problematic I think, we just have to move the seats and dashboard a bit rearwards.

Is that her dress on top of that roof? I guess she was just being hot. That gal behind the wheel is probably Furma . Her lovely assistant but the actual brains behind all of it.

Jonee > Jobjoris 10/30/2016 at 20:13

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Yeah, you’re right. The Jeep hood is also longer than I was imagining. There’s almost no dash depth in the Mehari, so pushing everything back might work. The problem is that the plastic tub is moulded, so it’d be a bit of a custom job. I think you might want 2 bodies so you could cut and patch things as needed. I don’t know how easy that plastic is to work with, though.

That’s either a scarf, or her cover that she wears before they hit the beach. Furma is definitely the brains. The perky, nerdy one. Short Hair is the airheaded one who’s always getting captured.

Jobjoris > Jonee 10/31/2016 at 03:53

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Yeah, we might need to get in from the rear as the dash will be blocking those doors. ABS will melt eventually, so maybe we can use fire to lengthen and shorthen the body to replace the doors and dash.

Short Hair? Better come up with a better name than that. Your description is spot on though.

Jonee > Jobjoris 11/01/2016 at 00:35

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You mean melt it and stretch it out like bubblegum? Interesting technique. I’m not sure how that will effect structural integrity, though. We’ll also have to make a big transmission hump up there that’ll take up more room.

Pixie. She never takes off the bikini.

Jobjoris > Jonee 11/01/2016 at 04:12

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The structural integrity it gets from the chassis. And that’s from the CJ7? I don’t think we’re obligated to do some crash tests with this one. Hope not.

Pixie Pixel . Maybe put a Mega in between.

Jonee > Jobjoris 11/02/2016 at 14:29

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True, but I don’t want a Flintstones style floor. No crash tests for a one-off. We wouldn’t have a car afterwards.

Mega could be her nickname. Pixie “Mega” Pixel. I like this girl. She seems fun.

Jobjoris > Jonee 11/02/2016 at 19:30

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We just have to find a European country for the first registration that isn’t as strict. Or bribable. Belgium or Italy come to mind...

It can’t be a nickname. Must be an official one. Mega Pixel. That’s a great last name. I’d prefer Patty!

Jonee > Jobjoris 11/03/2016 at 02:05

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I was going to say Belgium. Some states over here will register a peanut butter sandwich as long as you tell them it has seat belts.

Perfect. You can have Patty and I’ll take Pixie. This is starting to sound more like a sitcom.

Jobjoris > Jonee 11/03/2016 at 06:13

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No Sitcom sir. Jus a movie every two years. So we can work on one a whole year. And rest the other one. Or is that too little time? For a break I meant.

Jonee > Jobjoris 11/05/2016 at 03:21

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No, that sounds perfect. Like Bond movies in the old days. When they catch on, we can lengthen it to three years so we can spend a year “location scouting.” Since we’re now centering more on the team, we need a better title than Fur Coat: Femme Fatale .

Jobjoris > Jonee 11/05/2016 at 12:17

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Okay, just make it Fur Coat: Femmes Fatale ;-)

I do approve that location scouting. Where do we shoot the first movie, Japan?

Jonee > Jobjoris 11/07/2016 at 00:45

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Good call. The sequel can be Fur Coat: Latin Gambit .

I feel like there should be some globe-trotting, so maybe it can cover the whole Asian continent. Like how the second one will be South America. This would be good for box office. Japan, China, India; all big markets.

Jobjoris > Jonee 11/07/2016 at 03:05

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And what about the era were setting it in, ‘70's? ‘80's? Or current time?

Jonee > Jobjoris 11/08/2016 at 00:37

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That’s a good question. 70's or 80's would be fun. I was kind of imagining it being present day, but highly stylized so it feels like the 60's or 70's. But, maybe it’s kind of a fantasy and each film takes place in a different decade.

Jobjoris > Jonee 11/08/2016 at 03:44

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Oh yeah, totally non chronicle. We start ‘60's, then ‘90's and then all the way back to WWII!!!

Jonee > Jobjoris 11/09/2016 at 01:52

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Oh, man. The WWII movie will be so good. Jeez, the possibilities. They join the resistance. Pixie is a nurse. We can center the story around the Bugatti gang. Maybe Fur Coat is Benoist’s mistress. At one point, he narrowly avoided the SS because he was with her.

Jobjoris > Jonee 11/09/2016 at 03:56

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If Pixie is a nurse and Fur Coat is makin’ Whoopee with Robert, what will Patty do? She probably infiltrates the Gestapo office of Herr Flick and calls her self Helga. Wearing braids of course and looking very sternly.

Jonee > Jobjoris 11/09/2016 at 23:43

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Oh, that’s definitely what she does. She’ll pass as a Nazi perfectly. Maybe too perfectly. And Furma will spearhead the sabotaging of the German radio lines. But, first she taps into them and discovers a Nazi plan to wipe out the Resistance once and for all.

Jobjoris > Jonee 11/10/2016 at 04:46

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Ah! It wasn’t Felma but Furma! You’re right!

She’s teaming up with the Kommis? Not sure if we’re allowed to show that in the US now you have a clown for president. Although he admires Putin.

Jonee > Jobjoris 11/11/2016 at 00:47

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No, she’s with the British backed French Resistance. Why would she be with the Commies? He’s also endorsed by the KKK, so he may not even want anti-Nazi stories.

Jobjoris > Jonee 11/11/2016 at 04:00

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Many of the French resistance were Kommis, right? The French are a bit left-winged in general anyway.

Jonee > Jobjoris 11/11/2016 at 11:55

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Oh yeah, that is true. Like a lot of Jews before the war. The FTP was all Commies. We kind of ignore that aspect of it in the movies. But, they weren’t all Reds. I don’t think Wimille and Benoist were Communist.

Jobjoris > Jonee 11/11/2016 at 14:35

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The Jews were Kommis? Is that why there actually were quite a few in Russia?

No idea about Wimille, but being the son of an Automotive, military cadet and automotive racer & entrepreneur it’d surprise me if he was a Kommi indeed.

Jonee > Jobjoris 11/14/2016 at 03:27

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They were treated horribly in Russia. Many American Jews were Commies and Socialists up until Stalin signed the pact with Hitler. Then all that was over and they started hating those damn Reds.